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Dining etiquette: It's never too early to learn manners

Private schools — Seventh- to 12th-grade students at Veritas School learn the intricacies of social interaction in a dining etiquette class

By: Laurent Bonczijk (The Newberg Graphic)
Published: 2/24/2010 12:00:00 PM - Newberg Graphic.com

Students at Veritas School learned proper table manners last week with donuts and plastic silverware.
The dining etiquette class is part of the protocol curriculum where students learn everything from table etiquette to social correspondence to interviews and introductions.

The main element of etiquette, volunteer protocol director Megan Hills told the assembled seventh- to 12th-grade student body, “is about making others feel comfortable.” Anybody who thinks that etiquette should be used to lord over the uncouth masses is not true to the spirit of manners, she said.

Table etiquette is fairly simple: you work your way from the outside to the inside with the silverware and drinking glasses, cups and goblets are on the right of the plate. Hills had an easy little ditty for the students to remember: BMW or bread, meal, water, meaning that the bread plate is on the left, the meal plate in the middle and the drinking utensils are on the right.

Besides knowing which fork to use, (the really small one is for fish, the medium one salad and the big one the entrée), she also told students that on formal occasions men are supposed to stand when women leave or approach the table.

“Don’t be shy, if you need something, ask for it,” she said, and in case of doubt, take your cues from the hostess.

“I entertain a lot,” Hills said and “I’m a strong believer in hospitality,” she explained as to how she added the protocol position to her teaching duties. The biggest stumbling block for students is usually a lack of experience, she said, although conversation at table can be harder for them to engage in than remembering which fork to use.

As always with teen-agers, their questions can have her in stitches or explore areas of etiquette she’d never thought, as when a student asked her what to do with dental retainers. She advised against popping one out at the table and added “if you know you’re going to a formal dinner, leave it in your bathroom at home.”

Photo By: Laurent Bonczijk

Molly Magoon 17, and Silas Hegeman 15, were on their best behavior as they passed around donuts, ate them and engaged in conversation with their table mates.